


Now just a Memory

by Crossroads_Castiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel Leaves (Supernatural), Dreams vs. Reality, I'm Sorry, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Not A Fix-It, Sad Dean Winchester, Season/Series 15 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-01-13 00:54:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21235442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crossroads_Castiel/pseuds/Crossroads_Castiel
Summary: Aftermath of 15x3, Dean is left with nothing but memories.





	Now just a Memory

As the sun rose and began it’s lecherous peaking through the curtains, it shined it’s first beams of light on Cas’ shoulder. Dean watched as the sun revealed more of that flesh to him, like a peep show of light. He delicately, still so hesitant, let his fingers trace along the sunlit skin and he smiled as Cas shivered under his touch. 

“Good morning, Dean,” that gravely tone whispered softly into the quiet. 

“Hey, Cas.” Dean said, his voice still groggy with sleep. “I thought I might wake up and realize that was all a dream.”

“Well, unless we are both under the same spell of a Djinn…which I can’t exactly rule out…” Cas began but Dean rolled his eyes and put a finger to his lips. 

“Shh. Too early to make me think too hard. I need coffee,” Dean said with a smile as Cas smiled beneath his finger. He pulled his finger away and gave an impromptu kiss before pulling away, embarrassed. “Sorry, I just…”

It was Cas’ turn to roll his eyes. “There is nothing to apologize for, Dean.”

“Sam’s going to think we’ve lost our minds,” Dean said as he slowly moved in to nuzzle at his neck, still shy in his movements. 

“Let’s not talk about Sam right this minute,” Cas said, squirming as Dean’s left hand snaked under the cover to grasp his naked thigh. 

“Then what would you like to talk about?” Dean said as his morning stubble brushed against Cas’ shoulder, his teeth nipping softly at his collarbone. Cas’ eyes closed and his lips parted in a soft gasp as Dean’s hand wrapped around him, his hand moving softly up and down him. 

“Words escape me,” Cas said with a shiver as his eyes opened, the intense blue finding Dean’s as he crashed their mouths together, his tongue tasting him as the kiss deepened into something more urgent. Cas rolled them, putting himself on top and pulling Dean’s arms up, holding his wrists in his hands. “You cannot understand how you make me feel. I feel like I could fly again. The adrenaline of a hundred Heavenly battles can’t compare to this.” His chest heaved like he’d been running as his eyes swept over him. Dean’s eyelids fluttered as Cas grinded them together, botstill naked from the evening before. 

“Sweet talker,” Dean said with a breathy grin as Cas kissed his chest, right where his heart lay beneath. 

“I love you, Dean. You are my purpose and my home. Always.” Castiel said as he laid his head on his chest. Dean thought his heart might burst with the possessiveness and love he felt in that moment, finally able to let down his defenses. 

“I love you too. It’s crazy. This is crazy, but I love you too,” Dean said, feeling his cheeks flush until he saw the sheer joy in Cas’ eyes. 

“Call Sam and tell him you’ll be late getting home tonight,” Cas said with a raised eyebrow as he began to slide under the cover. 

“He already knows your supposed to be on your way home today too. He’s not stupid,” Dean murmured as he gripped the sheets at Cas’ actions below. No reply came from Cas but Dean groaned loudly as he felt Cas’ mouth wrap around him. “Okay, Okay. Master of persuasion,” Dean said with a shaky laugh as he fumbled for his phone on the nightstand. It rang, loud and obnoxious on the other end…..

Dean fumbled for his phone, the alarm blaring as the sun from the barely parted curtains stung his eyes. His heart rate slowly came down from the vivid dream. No, not a dream. A memory. It was a memory…and now so was Cas. He’d finally left him. He’d done the unthinkable, what he’d thought was impossible, and drove away the only one who’d never judged…never abandoned him…always promised to be by his side when needed. He’d driven him away with arrogance, pride, and grief that he lashed out with others at. Now he woke up alone in a cold hotel room. A stark contrast to his memory. He closed his eyes and willed himself to go back to sleep, but the lighthearted feelings of before were gone. He rolled on his side and stared at the clock as another minute passed. Another minute when he had no clue where Cas was. If he was okay. Another minute. He grabbed his phone up and went to his texts. Dozens. Dozens of unanswered texts to him and as many unanswered calls. 

He’d really fucked it all up. Sam would be up and out for his morning jog. He supposed he needed to get going too…. but right now, he’d give almost anything to be back in that memory again. He closed his eyes and tried to chase back the fleeting feeling of euphoria he’d captured with the memory, but he was left with only the hollow space in his heart and his bed that Cas had left behind.


End file.
